My Nursing Journey & Beliefs

A good friend of this blog asked me to write my story on breastfeeding.  She knows I have nursed William past the 1 year mark and still continue to nurse still at almost 18 months.  I don't know if this will help anyone but I am sure it might insult or offend people.  I feel very strongly on the issue of breastfeeding. However most of the comments I could foresee or have already heard aren't really rooted in my experience but in their own lack of experience and/or guilt of not nursing their own child.  This is not going to be about all the benefits of breastfeeding because I think everyone already knows them and why its best. I have been compiling my thoughts on my experience for a long while before actually sitting down to write this, so warning it will be long and it might even tick you off!

I'll start at the very beginning....

I knew before I was even pregnant I would nurse my babies. So while I was pregnant my husband and I tried to educate ourselves on the matter. We attended a nursing class, sought out resources and much more. I would encourage more mothers to do the same. However no amount of classes or advice actually prepares you fully for the real thing.  More on that later.  I discovered some interesting facts I would like to share now that I learned and I think might clear up some misconceptions. Here is where you might get upset...

1st   -  Over 99% of women are fully able to breastfeed their babies.. Therefore when I hear many excuses I just have to shake my head because unfortunately their reasons are usually wrong. For example I have heard "I just didn't make very much milk".  The reason for that has nothing to do with nature.  Nursing is a supply and demand operation. And yes in the beginning it is constant nursing, so yes it always seems like they are hungry.  So "I just couldn't fill him/her up" is also incorrect. I had a 10lb 12oz  22.5 inches long baby and guess what he was always hungry, and no I don't have huge boobs, it was all supply and demand.  It hurts and its a learning process but usually the reason women give up is in my opinion laziness and self-centeredness. Formula is made of chemicals and I am just not ok with pumping chemicals into my kid!

2nd- The other thing that gets over looked is how important it is to drink a ton of water and EAT! Your body goes through a huge shift after your child is born and will need calories to make nutritious milk and heal. So no dieting and worrying about losing your baby weight. It will not help just hinder. Nursing will burn a ton of weight off of you without doing anything extra. If you don't consume extra calories you will stop producing milk. I Literally had a stock pile of fruit cups and granola bars next to my bed the first few months and would shovel snacks down in the middle of the night while nursing.

There are more excuses I have heard and pretty much are all just that, excuses so that a person can feel better about their CHOICE.

So I will move on to tell you my story.

My Son was born at 40 weeks 2 days. I had a long drawn out labor which resulted in a C-section due to his large size.  In case you are wondering I didn't have any problems to cause a large baby, no diabetes or anything. I gained 35 lbs which was reasonable for me and my doctor. He was just a big baby. After he was born I began nursing about an hour later.  I requested to see lactation consultants while in the hospital to make sure I was doing everything right. She visited several times to check on us. My milk came in on day 3 and was so painful I was crying a lot.  I was already very emotional about his birth and was feeling like a failure for not being able to have a natural birth that I wanted, for being in pain,  and not understanding why I was reluctant before each nursing session and guilt I then felt for feeling that way.

The rest was amazing, I never let William out of my sight. He never slept anywhere but in my arms or on my chest the entire time we were in the hospital. I wanted to make sure our bonding was locked in. He continued to sleep on my chest for a week at home. So yes you can nurse successfully after a c-section. While I was pregnant my husband and I both decided that formula was just not nor would ever be an option. Therefore I would never allow it to be near us or offered.  I made that clear to the hospital staff. Even though I was told if my milk didn't come in soon they would need to supplement. Way to make me feel great huh?!?! But I told them my baby was in no way allowed to have formula.  That was that.

I was sent home on day 4. It was rough going at home, even with help. I was healing from surgery and nursing was so incredibly painful.  But I kept at it. I told myself this was mind over matter. I would count forwards to 10 and backwards over and over again to refocus my brain away from the pain until it would easy up.  Here is the hard truth... I continued to have pain for the entire first month.  So you figure hundreds of nursing session by then and all were painful.  I tried the creams, the pads, the ice and heat...still hurt like crazy.  Until one day it wasn't so bad, and was slowly easing up and then gone.

After sometime another curve ball came during a well baby check-up. William had a small case of thrush. Luckily I knew about thrush so when the doctor tried to put him on antibiotics I said no.  I was not willing to have him exposed to that at such a young age and possibly develop an intolerance so that future illnesses couldn't be treated.  This would happen again once more at another check-up.  It was not causing him any discomfort or problem so why pump this infant full of meds? I later figured out that the reason I had such pain nursing was because the baby and I had been passing the thrush back and forth to each other. Once I started airing out and not wearing a bra for a little while after nursing it cleared up on its own.  He got better and my pain went away. Wish someone would have suggested this to me instead of learning the hard way. I at least now know for the future.

I nursed exclusively until he started solids, and continued to as planned.  I was working part-time and was pumping too, incase you were wondering. So yes it can be done.

Now for more controversy.  Nursing your child to me means you have to be selfless.  When I was sick I took nothing for it. I didn't want to compromise my milk, supply, or anything else. So Yeah it sucked it took longer to get better but in my mind was worth it.  Interestingly while nursing a mothers immune system is boosted against illnesses so actually it prevents you from contracting a lot of things you might already be exposed to and yet don't get sick. So not only are antibodies in your milk helping to keep baby from getting sick it helps you too.  This sounds harsh but being a mother means sacrifice and If that means not taking aspirin, cold medication or whatever it was the best for HIM.

Also I don't believe in pump and dump.  Not only do I think its stupid to drink and go home to a small infant that might need you to have all of your faculties in case of an emergency. It means you will not be nursing and therefore the bonding experience is missed and can actually cause your baby to not want to nurse anymore. This also goes for leaving you child for an extended amount of time not being able to nurse and having a bottle given frequently instead.  I to this day have never left my baby for longer than a few hours.  It was a rule set in stone.  This meant while traveling and doing shows I either was there to sing and left or he came with us. I was not gone for anything longer than 3 hours. While I worked he was given 1 bottle and most of the time he refused it and would just wait until I got home. I nursed before I left and as soon as I got home. Even coming home for a break to nurse if needed.  William even came on a mini tour with us. I made it happen no matter what it took.  Where there is a will there is a way.

So here are some tips and tricks. After a while pumping didn't work, it just wasn't strong enough no matter the pump. Like I said he is a big guy and well you can figure out the rest.  So I hand expressed from the time he was 8 months old to a year.  I looked up how to's on YouTube and my Mom instructed me on how to as well. This was usually just for a few oz. to mix in with his baby cereal.

I was not a lucky Mom in the sleep department.  William didn't sleep through the night until he was 9 months old. And even after that when he would be teething he woke up.  But I learned to live with it and how to nurse laying down. I realized someday he wouldn't need me like this and someday he would be too big to hold and therefore it was a gift. Here is a great read for more info on nursing I found and frequently go back and re-read. The rest of the site is good for information as well.

http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html

From the time of 4 months to now he is on a pretty predictable schedule for nursing.  It made things easier for many reasons.  I would suggest noticing the patterns they set for themselves and going with it constantly and trying to not disrupt that.  It's really for your own benefit. William slept in a bassinet in our room until he was 4 months old. Then in his own room.  I would just venture to his room several times a night and nurse in my beloved rocking chair. P.S. I made my own Boppy Pillow, which actually did no good. A regular old pillow works best.

How is it now?  Well I can say that I never planned to actually nurse past the 1 year mark... It just happened to be this way.  I started to wean a little from the time he was 1 year old. But gradually food replaces milk anyways.  So by his birthday he nursed when he woke up, before each nap and at bed time.  I stopped the morning feed and just did sleep sessions. I waited about 2-3 weeks before taking another session away and replacing it with stories, songs, and cuddles.  For the last 4 months he has still wanted to nurse at night.  He knows it's his quiet time with mom and comforting.  I figured it's fine since it was not harmful and if anything he was getting a little immune/nutrient boost once a day.  Our doctor thinks its great and no one seems to mind since they don't really know.  I also decided that nursing him through the winter and sick season would be better for both of our healths. So here we are almost 18 months in and yes I do wonder when will my body be totally mine again. I've learned teeth and teething hurts us both, but love is greater. Plus cradling 25+lbs in your arms isn't easy yet I have super strong arms now. But in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter what my hardships were he matters most.

I was fortunate to have support from my Mom who nursed her babies and encouraged me along. My husband who thought it was the perfect natural way it should be. So I am lucky, but ultimately it was on me, I did it! I reached my goal and surpassed it. I have a healthy smart and great kid! I found that there is nothing more satisfying than knowing your body made food and nourishment for your child and they thrived and grew only from what your body made.

During this journey I have nursed in the strangest places like gas stations, recording studios, radio stations, hunched over a car-seat while someone was driving because stopping wasn't in the cards. I've nursed on a train, in a restaurant, many bathroom counters, a library, and several dressing rooms.  And it was all great and I would and will gladly do it again.

- Amber